Just forgive and forget!
You’ve probably received advice like this at some stage or another. It’s not bad advice, really. There are certainly times when it’s best to forgive someone who has offended you, and to move on. It can even be a powerful thing. When you make a deliberate choice not to be offended and to forgive someone, it can be extremely liberating. Holding onto an offence can be quite draining and debilitating.
We live in a time when many people take offence at all kinds of things. They then use the fact that they’ve been offended as justification for some very bad behaviour in return. I’m sure you know what I mean. It’s as if people think they have an inalienable right to be offended. However, in many cases, these offenses are pretty trivial, and forgiving and forgetting would be a far better response.
Of course, there are other times when forgiving and forgetting isn’t going to work. For example, if someone hurts you badly, and they refuse to acknowledge the hurt they’ve caused, forgiving and forgetting is never going to be the solution. Such deep hurt can’t simply be overlooked or swept under the carpet. Instead, there needs to be some process of reconciliation whereby acknowledgments are made, forgiveness is sought and given, and a way forward is mapped out through which deep and lasting healing can take place.
That is how it works between people. God approaches things a bit differently. In Psalm 103:8-10 we can read about something important that lies deep in the heart of God’s character. ‘The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.’
Some people have the idea that God is a heartless judge, who is looking for any opportunity to catch people out for their wrongdoings and punish them without mercy. But these verses give us a very different picture. What they tell us is that God is much better at forgiving and forgetting than we are, even choosing to forgive and forget at times when we don’t deserve such merciful treatment. As the Psalm goes on, in verses 11-12: ‘For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.’
God’s merciful heart can be seen most clearly in the person of Jesus Christ. God’s mercy towards us is the reason Jesus was willing to die on the cross. We don’t deserve God’s mercy, but Jesus took our sin and wrongdoing upon himself so that we might have God’s mercy anyway. What a gift it is, that when we ask for God’s forgiveness in Jesus’ name, he gives it to us!
God bless,
Pr Matthias Prenzler
LCA Vic-Tas District Assistant Bishop
Pastor Matthias serves the Goulburn Murray Parish.
He has been in the role of Acting Bishop during July-Sept 2023.
